“Sarra said: “I’m dating both of the guys, but the guys don’t date each other. They have become very good friends though.”
A “happily” married woman is dating a younger lover with her husband’s blessing – and she splits her time living with both men.
Sarra-Maria Karlstrom-Rantala was married to her husband Ville for a decade when she met Jani, the second love of her life. The 32-year-old then decided she was polyandrous and would be married to Ville while dating Jani.
Sarra says she lives with her husband for one week and then her lover the next, and the trio – who own a cafe together – hope to move in together soon.
Polygamy is illegal in their native Finland, so Sarra plans to have a traditional Pagan/Viking ceremony with Jani, a 28-year-old IT worker while staying legally married to 34-year-old labourer Ville.
Sarra, from Rovaniemi, Finland, met Ville at a rock bar over a decade ago and are very happy together.
But Jani was brought into their relationship after Sarra met him at a beach while filming a concert where his band was performing.
They started out as friends, but over time Sarra felt a romantic connection to Jani, and she told both men that she wanted to be polyandrous with them.
Ville and Jani were taken aback, but they accepted the arrangement and have learned to live with it.
Sarra said: “I’m dating both of the guys, but the guys don’t date each other. They have become very good friends though.
“Being married to two guys isn’t legal in Finland, so I’m legally married to Ville, and in 2020 I will have a Pagan/Viking ceremony with Jani called Hand Fastening. It’s kind of like a wedding but the priest is our friend.
“We don’t all live together yet, but we hope to soon. We do own a cafe together though.
“At the moment Ville and Jani have their own homes close to each other so I live with Ville for one week and then Jani the next week, and it carries on like so. We spend a lot of time together as a three though.
“Now, Ville is very into the lifestyle, but Jani does remain more monogamous than us two – but he’s fine with the situation now.”
Polyamory is the concept of loving more than one person, and polyandrous defines a woman who chooses to take two or more husbands.
A polyamorous relationship isn’t without its trouble though as Sarra admits that jealousy can be a natural emotion occasionally.
She said: “Of course, we sometimes get jealous, but not that much anymore.
“Sometimes there are moments when either Ville or Jani feel a bit jealous of the other getting to spend time with me that day or something.
“We speak about everything very openly and we do spend a lot of time together which limits the jealousy. For us, polyandrous means being in a loving relationship and committed to each other.”
Sarra said explaining the concept to their respective families wasn’t easy. Her in-laws still don’t know about the love triangle.
She said: “Jani’s family have been really accepting from the very beginning, as soon as they found out. For my mum, it was a lot harder for her to understand and she was a bit shocked at first. But she’s alright about the situation now.
“Some people we meet are a bit shocked, but more people just want to know how it works in terms of the arrangement we have. They also want to know if the guys are in a relationship with each other.
“We get questions about our sex life more than other couples probably would do, and that element is really weird. But our closest friends are very supportive and really lovely about it all.
“We want to show that it’s okay to be yourself. It might take time to get to a certain point, and it might be a hard journey to make, but you deserve to be happy. Love is love.”