1. He might daydream a little. Getting a blow job can sometimes be relaxing, like a massage. He’s sitting back and just enjoying himself, so his mind might wander a bit. That’s a compliment, promise. Just make sure he doesn’t fall asleep.
2. He wants to know your game-plan before he finishes. Please, please, please give your dude a heads up before you dive away from his orgasming penis like it’s a bomb. You are under no obligations to do any specific thing with said orgasming peen or its contents, but please at least give him the chance to cover up with his hands so he doesn’t ejaculate directly into his own eye. It’s only polite.
3. His balls are basically the magic orgasm button. On the one hand, he wants you to know this. But on the other hand, the blow job would be over way too fast if you’re playing with his balls a bunch.
4. This is great because it’s so lazy. Truly, half of the appeal here is that he gets to lie down with his hands behind his head and just enjoy himself. That’s what it’s meant for. It’s the hammock of s*x acts.
5. You can’t really give a bad blow job. The only way to really give a bad blow job is if you, like, head-butt his dick or something. And at that point, you’re not really giving a blow job, you’re just giving your idea of a blow job, which is head-butting his dick. So really, you can’t screw this up. Oh, and obviously don’t bite his penis. Don’t draw blood and you’re good.
6. He’s holding out on you. Yes, he probably could have finished ages ago, but he’s enjoying himself.
7. He’s getting a great view of the top of your head. Just a HEADS UP (lmao lol etc) if you’re self-conscious about your roots or dandruff or other things that can happen to your scalp. But he couldn’t care less.
8. It is a truth universally acknowledged that in general he prefers less licking and more sucking. Licking is hot and it feels great, but it probably won’t give him an orgasm. It’s like how hoverboards are fun, but if you want to actually go anywhere, you’re going to need a car.
9. He might not be a hundred percent certain if he’s supposed to orgasm or if this is just foreplay. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell how you, the blow job-giver, want this blowjob to end. Should we try to hold off for P-i-V s*x later, or are you secretly annoyed we’re still not done yet? It’s like when you go in for a handshake and the other person goes in with a hug. Actually, it’s more like if you went in for a handshake and the other person ejaculated in your mouth.
